QUESTIONS ABOUT CANADA – Funny Jokes

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(From England ) A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (From USA )

A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.

Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto – can I follow the Railroad tracks? (From Sweden )

A: Sure, it’s only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ?(From Sweden )

A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (From England )

A: What did your last slave die of?

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? (From USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North…oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q:Which direction is North in Canada ? (From USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ?(From England )

A: Why not just use your fingers like we do .

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (From USA )

A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? (From Germany )

A: No, WE don’t need it as WE don’t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ?(From USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? (From USA )

A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(From Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It’s a kind of big horse with horns. (From USA )

A: It’s called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.