Aviator Jokes

THE LONG WAIT

Radio call from an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue:
“I’m f-ing bored!” Ground Traffic Control: “Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!” Unknown aircraft: “I said I was f-ing bored, not f-ing stupid!”

CLEARED FOR TAKEOFF

Tower: “Eastern 234, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.6”

Eastern 234: “Tower, Eastern 234 to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.”

Tower: “Continental 432, you are cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 234, contact Departure on frequency 124.6… Did you copy that report from Eastern 234?”

BR Continental 432: “Continental 432, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern 234; . . . we’ve already notified our caterers.”