VALENTINE’S DAY – Funny Jokes

February 15, 2008 · Print This Article

“We cannot really love anybody without whom we never laugh.” – Alice Reppler

“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down.” – Woody Allen, Love and Death

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? – Anonymous

Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. – Hawkeye, M.A.S.H.

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. – Hoosier Farmer

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. – Erich Segal

Love wouldn’t be blind if the Braille weren’t so damned much fun. – Anonymous

Falling in love is so hard on the knees. – Aerosmith

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. – Jules Renard

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. – Peter Ustinov

Love is a grave mental disease. Plato

“I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine’s day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it’s these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine. Anonymous and now dead.

I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. Anonymous

Basement smells bad. Look for cat poops, change litter. Happy Valentines Day. (note to her gardener) Martha Stewart

I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV. Tracy Smith

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