THE MARKET – Funny Jokes

June 8, 2007 · Print This Article

Momentum Investing – The fine art of buying high and selling low. Value Investing – The art of buying low and selling lower. Broker – Poorer than you were in 1999. P/E ratio – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this market keeps crashing. Standard & Poor – Your life in a nutshell. Stock Analyst – Idiot who just downgraded your stock. Bull Market – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. Bear Market – A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex. Stock split – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.

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