October 4, 2007 · Print This Article

1. Smarties 2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp 3. The size of our footballs fields and one less down 4. Baseball is Canadian 5. Lacrosse is Canadian 6. Hockey is Canadian 7. Basketball is Canadian 8. Apple pie is Canadian 9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass 10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin’ Donuts ass 11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back…past their ‘White House’. Then we burned it… and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon Mackenzie King who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied.. .Go figure.. 12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany. 13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone. Anywhere. EVER. 14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and it lasted a little over an hour. 15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing… but showed up just in time to get caught. 16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on. 17. The Hudson’s Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth’s surface and is still around as the world’s oldest company! 18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes. 19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo. 20. We don’t marry our kinfolk. 21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, Velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year. 22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it. 23. A Canadian invented Superman. 24. We have coloured money. 25. Our beer advertisements kick ass BUT MOST IMPORTANT! 24. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. OOOoohhhhh Canada!! 25. And we don’t bomb our allies. Oh yeah… and our elections only take one day. I AM CANADIAN!!!


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