June 8, 2007 · Print This Article

1. Pull up your pants and take that earring out. You look like an idiot. 2. It’s called a “gravel road.” No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get dust on your BMW. So, drive or git outta the way. 3. Yeah, we all started hunting and fishing before we started to school. Sure, we saw “Bambi” but we got over it. 4. Go ahead. Bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod–but don’t cry when a catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for that little 10-inch bass you’re fishing for–we call it “bait.” 5. That bent-over farmer did more work before breakfast than you do all week, including your visits to the gym. He doesn’t need your respect but he surely DESERVES IT. 6. If your cell phone rings while we’re in the woods waiting on a buck, we’ll shoot it. You might hope you don’t have it to your ear at the time. 7. If you bring “Coke” into our homes, it’d better be brown, wet, and best served over a glass of ice. 8. You have a $60,000 car? We’re not impressed. Heck, we drive tractors, cotton pickers and hay balers that cost a quarter million dollars–and we only drive them a few weeks each year. 9. Yeah, we eat catfish, deer, rabbit, and squirrel. You want sushi? It’s available at the bait shop. 10. What’s that? People are waving at you in your car and smiling at you on the streets? We call it being friendly. Try to understand the concept. 11. And finally, we still believe in the Bible; that Jesus is the only way to get to Heaven because Adam’s sin separated man from God. Don’t you? Please, ENJOY YOUR VISIT. You might even like us so well you’ll want to stay. But, if not, well, there are interstates running four ways: north, south, east and west. JUST PICK ONE.


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