State Mottos – Funny Jokes

February 27, 2008 · Print This Article

Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity

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Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can’t Be Wrong!

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Arizona: But It’s A Dry Heat

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Arkansas: Literacy Ain’t Everything

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California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

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Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother

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Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy’s Don’t Own It Yet

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Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

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Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

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Georgia: We Put The “Fun” In Fundamentalist Extremism

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Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru

(Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

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Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes…Well Okay, We’re Not, But The Potatoes Are Real Good

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Illinois: Please Don’t Pronounce The “S”

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Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

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Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

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Kansas: First Of The Rectangular States

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Kentucky: Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names

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Louisiana: We’re Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos,

But That’s Our Tourism Campaign

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Maine: We’re Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

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Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

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Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden’s (For Most Tax Brackets

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Michigan: First Line Of Defence – From The Canadians

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Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes….And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

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Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

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Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

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Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Uni-bomber, Right-wing Crazies

And Very Little Else

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Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

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Nevada: Hookers And Poker!

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New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

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New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

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New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets

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New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent,

You Have The Right To An Attorney…

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North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

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North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

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Ohio: At Least We’re Not Michigan

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Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

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Oregon: Spotted Owl…It’s What’s For Dinner

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Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

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Rhode Island: We’re Not REALLY An Island

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South Carolina: Remember The Civil War?

We Didn’t Actually Surrender

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South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

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Tennessee: The Educashun State

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Texas: Si, Hablo Ingles (Yes, I Speak English)

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Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus!

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Vermont: Yep

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Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don’t Mix?

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Washington: Help! We’re Over-run By Nerds And Slackers!

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Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

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West Virginia: One Big Happy Family…..Really!

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Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

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