My Dog Can Beat Your Dog

May 20, 2007 · Print This Article

Five men were bragging about how smart their dogs were. One was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, the fourth was a computer tech, and the fifth was a government worker.

To show off, the engineer called to his dog. “T-square, do your stuff.” T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty incredible.

The accountant said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and commanded “Spreadsheet, do your stuff.” Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.

Everyone agreed that was better.

The chemist said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a beer, got an iced mug from the freezer and poured it perfectly without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was more than a little impressive

The computer tech knew he could top them all. “Hard Drive, have at it.” Hard Drive crossed the room and booted the computer, checked for viruses, upgraded the operating system, sent an email, and installed a cool new game.

Everyone knew that was a tough act to follow.

The four men turned to the government worker and said, “What can your dog do?”

The government worker called to his dog and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff, Boy.” Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, erased all the files on the computer, sexually assaulted the other four dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for workers compensation and went home for a six-month sick leave.

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