Heaven’s Gate

May 22, 2007 · Print This Article

This 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60 years, dies in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife’s neurotic interest in health food. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they “oohed and aahed”, the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. “It’s free,” Peter replied, Remember, this is Heaven.” Next they went out back to see the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on Earth. The old man asked, “What are the green fees?” “This is heaven,” St. Peter replied. “You play for free.” Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine’s of the world laid out. “How much to eat?” asked the old man. “Don’t you understand yet?” St. Peter asked. “This is heaven. It’s free!” “That’s the best part…you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven.” The old man angrily looked at his wife and said, “Except for you and your darnn bran muffins. I could have been here ten years ago!”


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