Food in Heaven

May 20, 2007 · Print This Article

An old couple died in a car crash and go to heaven. They had been in good health their entire lives due to the wife’s interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter met them and took them to their mansion. As they looked everything over, the old man asked Peter how much the place was going to cost. “Everything’s free,” Peter replied, “this is Heaven.” Peter then took the couple out to see the championship golf course that bordered the home and explained that the course changed to a new one each week representing the great golf courses on earth. The man asked, “What are the green fees?” Peter replied, “This is heaven, so you play for free.” Peter then took them to the club house and showed them the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine’s of the world laid out. “How expensive is the menu?” asked the man. “You mean you don’t understand yet? Peter replied with some exasperation. This is heaven, it is free.” “Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?” the old man asked timidly. Peter patiently explained, “That’s the best part … you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven.”

With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat, stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and the man’s wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, “This is all your fault. If it weren’t for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!”


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