June 20, 2007 · Print This Article

You ever cut your grass and found a car.
You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren’t.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
Your wife has ever said, “Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.”
You’ve ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave the bingo hall because of her language.
Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
There has ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom door.
The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.
Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.
You’ve ever stolen toilet paper.
People hear your car a long time before they see it.
You go to a stock car race and don’t need a program.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You’ve ever had to scratch your sister’s name out of a message that begins, “For a good time call..”


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