June 8, 2007 · Print This Article

Costello: Hey, Abbott! Abbott: Yes, Lou? Costello: I just got my first computer. Abbott: That’s great, Lou. What did you get? Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig Hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM. Abbott: That’s terrific, Lou Costello: But I don’t know what any of it means!! Abbott: You will in time. Costello: That’s exactly why I am here to see you. Abbott: Oh? Costello: I heard that you are a real computer expert. Abbott: Well, I don’t know… Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you’re going to train me. Abbott: Really? Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson. Abbott: O.K. Lou. What do want to know? Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off. Abbott: That’s true. Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer, and I want to turn it off. What do I do? Abbott: Well, first you press the Start button, and then… Costello: No, I told you, I want to turn it off. Abbott: I know, you press the Start button… Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do. Abbott: I did. Costello: When? Abbott: When I told you to press the Start button. Costello: Why should I press the Start button? Abbott: To shut off the computer. Costello: I press Start to stop. Abbott: Well Start doesn’t actually stop the computer. Costello: I knew it! So what do I press. Abbott: Start. Costello: Start what? Abbott: Start button. Costello: Start button to do what? Abbott: Shut down. Costello: You don’t have to get rude! Abbott: No, no, no! That’s not what I meant. Costello: Then say what you mean. Abbott: To shut down the computer, press… Costello: Don’t say, “Start!” Abbott: Then what do you want me to say? Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button,the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop. Abbott: But that’s what you do. Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights. Abbott: Don’t be ridiculous. Costello: I’m being ridiculous? Well, I think it’s about time we started this conversation. Abbott: What are you talking about? Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.


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