WHEN HALLMARK WRITERS HAVE A BAD DAY – Funny Jokes

June 20, 2007 · Print This Article

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire…
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
*************************************

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don’t fret about it…

She moved in with me.

****************************************

Looking back over the years
that we’ve been together,

I can’t help but wonder…

“What the hell was I thinking?”

***************************************

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

********************************************

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

**************************************

I’ve always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I’ve changed my mind.

***************************************

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

****************************

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am…
That you’re not here to ruin it for me.

*******************************************

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go…
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You’ll probably need it again.

********************************

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky , West Virginia, Arkansas, & Oklahoma)

****************************************

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!

*****************************************

When we were together,
you always said you’d die for me.
Now that we’ve broken up,
I think it’s time you kept your promise.

***************************************

We have been friends for a very long time ..
let’s say we stop?

****************************

I’m so miserable without you
it’s almost like you’re here.

****************************************

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

**************************************************

Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we’re having you put to sleep.

*******************************************

So your daughter’s a hooker,

and it spoiled your day .
Look at the bright side,

it’s really good pay.

Comments

Got something to say?