Mother’s Funny Jokes

Somebody said a mother is an unskilled laborer . . . somebody never gave a squirmy infant a bath. Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby. . . somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, normal is history. Somebody said a mother’s job consists of wiping noses and changing diapers . . . somebody doesn’t know that a child is much more than the shell he lives in. Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct. . .somebody never took a three-year-old shopping. Somebody said being a mother is boring. . . somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit. Somebody said teachers, psychologists and pediatricians know more about children than their mothers. . . somebody hasn’t invested her heart in another human being. Somebody said if you’re a “good” mother, your child will “turn out” … somebody thinks a child is like a bag of plaster of Paris that comes with directions, a mold and a guarantee. Somebody said being a mother is what you do in your spare time . . . somebody doesn’t know that when you’re a mother, you’re a mother ALL the time. Somebody said “good” mothers never raise their voices . . . somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child wind up and hit a golf ball through the neighbor’s kitchen window. Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a mother . . .somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math. Somebody said you can’t love the fifth child as much as you love the first . . .somebody doesn’t have five children. Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books. . . somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose. Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery. . . somebody never watched her “baby” get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten. Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back. . somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies. Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married. . . somebody doesn’t know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother’s heartstrings. Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last child leaves home. . . somebody never had grandchildren. Somebody said being a mother is a side dish on the plate of life . . . somebody doesn’t know what fills you up. Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don’t need to tell her. . . somebody isn’t a mother.