KEN LEEEE Continues – Part 2 the full audience tribute – Funny Jokes

March 18, 2008

If you recently saw our post below from earlier this week, you gotta catch up with the full version, and an audience tribute…


October 20, 2007

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off.

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, “May I please use the restroom?
The bartender replied, “OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.

“Well, in that case I’ll just look the other way,” said the nun.

So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?”

“Well, now they know you’re one of us,” said the bartender, “Would you like a drink?”

“But, I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled nun.

“You see, laughed the bartender, “every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statute, the lights go out.”

“Now, how about that drink?”

Last Request – Funny Jokes

October 4, 2007

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, “Son, do you have a last request?” The man replied, “Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play the Macarena for me one last time?” “Certainly,” replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, “Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?” “Please,” said the condemned man, “kill me first.”

Music History Jokes

May 20, 2007

August 16, 1969
At a party for her 11th birthday, Madonna Louise Ciccone is strangely unfazed when Vinny Martello stuffs two ice cream cones down the front of her dress.

July 18, 1966
“Let’s let Ringo sing one. No harm in that, is there?”

September 22, 1968
Baffled by audiences’ lack of enthusiasm about a deaf, dumb and blind shuffleboard champ, Pete Townshend heads dejectedly down to the corner pub.

September 2, 1997
Lou Bega finishes “Mambo #4,” decides his symphony needs one more movement.

May 4, 1956
In Toronto, Neil Young’s tonsillectomy causes no damage to his larynx, thereby not robbing him of his voice.

July 29, 1974
“Soup or sandwich today, Ms. Cass?”

November 8, 1980
Mark David Chapman can’t quite scrounge up $50 for shooting lessons. A month later, his attempted assassination of Yoko Ono goes horribly awry.

September 6, 1977
Due to a misprint on his high school schedule, Kenny G. attends “Sax Education” class.

March 30, 1968
An alien craft leaves a baby on the doorstep of the Dion farm just outside of Montreal, Canada.

65,000,000 BC
Keith Richards crawls out of the primordial soup.

April 10, 1980
Andrew Lloyd Webber hears a cat fight in the alley behind his house. Out of nowhere, a light bulb appears above his head.

August 4, 1956
Buddy Holly decides it’s high time to overcome that flying phobia.

July 13, 1964
Herman’s Hermits stop in at Henry the Eighth’s Tobacco Shoppe and are loudly greeted by the owner.

January 17, 1968
Charles Manson purchases a copy of the Beatles’ White Album.

July 27, 1980
Phil Collins has a dream in which he quits Genesis and becomes fabulously wealthy.

March 14, 1971
Little Michael Jackson stubs his toe, lets out a high-pitched “Wooooo!” and gingerly walks backwards 10 feet.

July 23, 1956
Colonel Tom Parker says to Elvis, “Boy, you’re nothin’ but skin and bones. You better put on some weight, or people are gonna think you’re sick!”

October 31, 1975
At a costume party in Greenwich Village, a soldier, an Indian, a biker, a construction worker, a cop and a cowboy all decide, “This is way too much fun to do just once a year!”

December 11, 1971
William Shatner, listening to radio, softly begins to sing along.

March 8, 1990
A well-meaning friend tells Britney Spears that she has a nice belly button.

October 5, 1955
While tripping on acid, John Lennon hears Yoko Ono scream after striking her thumb with a hammer — and dashes to the tape recorder.

April 7, 1975
Furious over his girlfriend’s constant unsolicited lyric suggestions, Barry Manilow decides to tell her, once and for all, just who writes the songs.

March 3, 1993
Finally deciding to give the studio a thorough cleaning, Prince stumbles upon a napkin with some random doodles.

Real Country Songs

May 20, 2007

(yep…. these are for real)

1. How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?

2. You’re the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

3. I’ve Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

4. I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You

5. She Got The Gold Mine and I Got The Shaft

6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him

7. I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

8. Drop-Kick Me Jesus Through The Goalposts Of Life

9. Thank God And Greyhound She’s Gone

10. If You Don’t Leave Me Alone I’ll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will

11. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

12. I’ve Got The Hungries For Your Love And I’m Waiting In Your Welfare Line

13. I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me.

14. My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart.

15. I Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dawg Fight Because I’m Afraid She’d Win.

16. They May Put Me In Prison But They Can’t Stop My Face From Breaking Out