LONE RANGER AND TONTO GO CAMPING – Funny Jokes
June 29, 2007
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and
Says, “Kemo Sabe, look towards sky; what you see?”
The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions of stars.”
“What that tell you?” asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, “Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are Millions of galaxies. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What’s it tell you, Tonto?”
“You dumber than buffalo shit.
Someone stole tent.”
Star Wars Joked on with the word “Pants”
May 20, 2007
Lines from Star Wars that can be improved with the word “Pants”
We’ve got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.
The pants may not look like much, kid, but they’ve got it where it counts.
I find your lack of pants disturbing.
These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it.
Han will have those pants down. We’ve got to give him more time!
General Veers, prepare your pants for a ground assault.
I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.
TK-421. . . Why aren’t you in your pants?
Lock the door. And hope they don’t have pants.
You are unwise to lower your pants.
She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.
Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.
You look strong enough to pull the pants of a Gundark.
Luke. . . Help me remove these pants.
Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.
That blast came from those pants. That thing’s operational!
A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.
Don’t worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
Maybe you’d like it back in your pants, your highness.
Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially one. . . Your sister!
Jabba doesn’t have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.
Short pants is better than no pants at all.
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