EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 40 -Funny Jokes

November 5, 2007

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I’m at this level.)After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

Airplane Video Humour – Funny Jokes

October 27, 2007

Joking around combined with Flight and Aircrafts have GOT to be my absolute favourite combo. When people get creative enough and put something cool together, I love watching the end result.

This commercial is an example of how Xbox is working hard to get creative¦ the aircraft look quite real (aside from a few of the obvious impossibilities)¦ I would kinda like to take one for a spin¦ And as always¦ adding a German to the mix makes things even funnier somehow¦

Life Explained Using Technology – Funny Jokes

October 25, 2007

Life Explained

Why We Love Children Part 6 – Funny Jokes

October 23, 2007

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, “Mommy, you are getting fat!” I replied, “Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.” “I know,” she replied, but what’s growing in your butt?”

Why We Love Children Part 4 – Funny Jokes

October 23, 2007

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?” The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.” A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”

Why We Love Children Part 3 – Funny Jokes

October 23, 2007

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him “How do you expect to get into Heaven?” The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'”

Why We Love Children Part 1 – Funny Jokes

October 23, 2007

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead.

“How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked her pupil.

“Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently.

You did WHAT ? ! ?” the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

“You know,”explained the boy, “I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!’ and it didn’t move.”

Homer – Funny Jokes

October 23, 2007

Whats homer simpson’s favorite ice creem?

Cholocate chip cooke d’oh

The World’s Shortest Fairy Tale – Funny Jokes

October 20, 2007

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?” The girl said, “NO!”

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever she wanted, never argued, didn’t get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn’t save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time. THE END

Blonde Joke – Funny Jokes

October 4, 2007

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me…. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can’t figure out how to get it started.” Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.” Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.” He held her hand softly, led her to a chair and said, “Secondly, I’d advise you to relax. Let’s have a cup of coffee, and then….” he sighed, “Let’s put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.”

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